Thursday, August 29, 2013

Facebook Makes Me Mad Sometimes (Updated)

Posted this back in 2011. Well, its been nearly 2 years since my Facebook rants ... and plenty of changes have passed then ...  I think the users have more than tripled or more ... and my FB friends have surged to just over 100, still manageable ... but the inherent silliness still prevails.

I can appreciate the wonders of Facebooking, to keep in touch and to share, in a manner that is more intimate and profound than say just by emails.

After sitting at a computer typing all day, the last thing I want to do when I get home is sit in front of another computer so that I can read the fascinating facts and fancies on "25 Random Things About Me" from 3 of my friends.

I also don't feel the need to constantly update an entire network of friends about the daily minutiae of my life. My life is to be lived, not to be updated. And the mf box "What's on your mind" ... I mean if I tell you what is really on mind mind, I would have no friends left??!! I mean, how to say "I have been thinking of screwing with the cleaning lady ten minutes ago"??!!

The silly mf strategy games they play ... so you have grown the world's largest cabbage, go and eat it yourself.... so you are looking for carrots and manure, fuck me silly if I am bothered to even care. My eyes have glazed over hundreds of time whenever I open my Facebook. Soon, I will be doing a Linda Blair, my eyeballs will make a 360 degrees revolution from too much eyes rolling.

(Coffee Bean sure did not have locals at management level when they issue these cups in Malaysia and Singapore ... does not quite have the same meaning)

Then, there are the friends who will update you at least 5 times a day, as if sooo many people are so interested in the most mundane aspects of your lives. I mean, I seriously get postings such as: "... sigh, just wondering about nothing ..." I mean, seriously, go fuck yourself silly, even your own mum would be cursing under her breath. Stop the narcissist in you, no more "look at me, look at me...".

Don't just simply whack without offering solutions, I always say. Well, I hope Facebook will make all users to flag all their comments to 5 categories: if you are making a senseless comment that only your wildest fan or stalker will enjoy hearing, flag that as "1"; if its about something that is mildly important or things you found funny from some obscure site, then click "2"; if its and opinion that some may enjoy, then click "3"; if its a major development in your personal life or career, click "4"; if its absolutely must be viewed by all your friends, then click "5". Your friends , like me, who have a low tolerance of everything and anything, will possibly allow comments and updates that are "4" or "5" to filter to my account.

If by chance you have a nonsensical update and you put that as a "4", I guarantee you I will go and write a load of b.s. on your fucking wall for not being able to decipher what is "value add commentary / opinion" and what is crap.

For now, I cannot go and tell all my friends that they are idiots for writing what they wrote cause its so prevalent. Till today, after nearly one year, I still have less than 40 friends (now just over 100), and proud of it.

I won't be wasting time 'poking' cyber friends. Pick up the phone/mobile and call to ask them out for lunch or dinner, poke here poke there for fucks!!??

People make friends like they are collecting sand, ... "today I made another 4 friends", ... well, fuck me, I did not make four new friends the whole of last month in real life. It waters down the concept of who is a friend, and what a friend is to you. That definition is getting shallower by the day with the advent of the internet.

I guess my plea to my friends is to try and make Facebook work for us, to bring us closer together, not to agitate and piss the shit out of others, and waste our time and resources over inane stuff. Use Facebook as a tool, if you let Facebook take over your life, then you are the tool. Enjoy and maintain relations with family, friends and relatives ... in person as much as you can.